Whelp. We did our best to get a top 10. But we had to round it down to the only three things to do in Brightwood, Virginia. And maybe a couple runner ups.
#3 Watch Grass Grow:
Ok, I know what you are thinking, is this guy crazy? Oh, hell no! If you stopped by the local ABC (pronounced Ah-beh-cee) and got a large bottle of Maker's Mark, one place you might end up is on the front lawn of 87 Ridgeview Road. When you finish your coma, open your eyes and stretch - guess what you will see? That's right, grass. Always a welcome sight. Trust me, it's a whole lot better than looking at a pissed off wife.
#2 Drink Adult Like Beverages
When God decided to make certain counties of the south dry, Madison County was not on His radar. Yessir! You have one-stop shopping at the local Virginia Ah-Beh-Cee located in the historic Madison Plaza. Plaza is Italian for place. Stop in and tell them Stowie McStowenstein said "Hi!". You might even get a discount on Maker's Mark
#1 Hang Out at The JAG Gas Station
Folks, this is THE must see tourist stop. Not only do they have beer, bongs and lighters, they got a great sandwich shop in the back. Hold on to your man-parts boys, if you hang out by the pumps, you'll see some of the nicest 4X4s in greater Madison County.
Honorable Mentions
Food Lion: What can we say? Food Rocks and Lions are cool. Getting your buzz on and driving to the Food Lion is an experience unto itself. Avoiding the Virginia State Police while buzzed is yet another great experience. The banjos are strong with them. But food shopping... Holy shit. it's great! Stop bu the refrigerated section folks because they carry a huge selection of Cool Whip in the can!
Camp Fires: As a Boy Scout once told me, "there ain't shit that can't be burnt". This is so true in Brightwood! Don't worry about getting your fancy burn permits! It's always better to ask for forgiveness than permission! Brightwood has a butt-load of wood and when combined with gasoline (petrol to our international travelers) and a leaf blower, you get one massive fucking fire!
Wow! A must do and must see. Y'all come back now, ya hear!